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The Entire Silly Short Story

soccer

Okay, we made it through For the Love of Blog month.  I have had a blast writing about whatever I want and rediscovering my love of blogging.  Thanks for sticking with me.  I’m laying low next week to enjoy the final week of summer break (I can’t even.  All the hashtags.) and then coming back with a Back to School Survival Kit contest that you’ll definitely want to get in on.  But first, here’s the entire silly short story that I’ve been eking out this month, complete with helpful gifs to process the emotions.

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Suddenly, the car burst into flames and she crawled away, fire licking her shoes.  She rolled into the ditch, splashing gratefully into the water and looked back.  There goes her favorite pantsuit, she thought ruefully.

She heard urgent feet running toward her, and pushing herself up, she made her way across the field into the nearby woods.  Why did she try to see them again?  She should’ve known they’d blow her up.  Especially after last time.

carbomb

Through the trees she could just make out the twinkle of porch lights and she made her way towards them, daring to hope that maybe the strangers living in the house would let her make a phone call.  But who did she have left to call?  Her thoughts swirled wildly as her breath came in short gasps.  Him.  She could call him.

Making her way up to the house, she stumbled to the door, grabbing the knob before she fell.  She took stock of herself, wincing as her fingers grazed the gash across her forehead.  She brushed the dirt off her pants with shaking hands, tucked in her shirt, took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell, hoping against hope that the inhabitants inside would be home…and would help her.  Her stomach dropped as she heard the lock click open from the inside.

Fear and relief coursed through her body in equal parts.  She silently begged the door to open as she was terrified of who would be on the other side.  And then she was face-to-face with a middle-aged woman with her hair pulled back in a messy bun who smiled quizzically.  She stammered, “I had some…car trouble….  May I borrow your phone?”

Sitting on the edge of the porch, she dialed the numbers on the borrowed cell phone.  “Pick up,” she pleaded in her mind.  The rings felt like lightyears.  One, two — she knew at three she’d go to voicemail — “Hello?”  He was there.  He answered.  He’d come for her.

phoebe

He pulled in quietly and she crawled into the passenger side and sunk down into the seat where no one could she her.  She looked over at the driver.  “You look good, Matty,” she observed.  “You too, little sis,” he said drily as his eyes took in her disheveled state.  They burst into laughter as he drove them down the highway.  

“So, what have you gotten yourself into this time, Mags?” Matt asked.

“What have you gotten yourself into this time, Mags?” she mimicked.  “I’m so sorry we don’t all have our lives perfectly glued together like you, jerknut.”  He snorted and then got serious.  “Are they after you again?”  

“They won’t quit coming.  But I have a plan.  If I can survive long enough to enact the plan.”

“How can I help?”  

“You’re doing it, answering my call, picking me up.  I didn’t know if you would.”

“You haven’t been around in awhile.”  

“Life’s just gotten…complicated.  But I’m about to uncomplicate it.”

He pulled up to the address she gave him and asked wryly, “Tupperware party?”  Mags rolled her eyes and said, “Leave now or you’ll get me killed.  Go.”  Reluctantly he nodded.  

tinafeyman

As she watched him drive away, she wondered if she’d ever see him again.  But maybe that was better.  He’d never look at her the same if he knew what she’d done.  Or what she was going to do.

Peering into the window of the cozy suburban house, she saw what she was looking for.  There they were, the three of them, out to get her for all her crimes.  The only ones in the world who knew who she truly was.  

How they’d figured it out was a mystery to her.  She’d always been so careful not to get caught.  She covered her tracks, moving around so that no one could figure out why all the soccer moms kept disappearing.  “They had to go away,” she thought resolutely.  She couldn’t live in a world where everyone’s snacks were better than hers.  The sight of homemade granola bars made her want to strangle someone with a tube sock.

dexter

She didn’t know how, but these three refs were onto her and were gathering the evidence they needed to destroy her.  “They were about to blow the whistle on her crime spree, heh heh, pun totally intended,” she giggled maniacally in her head.  

emmastone

But trying to blow up her car…she did not see that coming.  They were getting desperate, trying to take her out before fall season.  Mags sighed.  It had been a good run, but it was time for the Shin Guard Bludgeoner to retire.

She’d led them on a hunt around the state only to end up here, in her home town, too close to her family, with nowhere left to hide.  She was tired of running, tired of looking over her shoulder.  It was time to end this.

The window was open to let in the breezy summer night.  She noiselessly slit the screen and opened up a hole.  She pulled the pin, tossed the grenade through the open window, and walked away as the house exploded behind her.  “Women are scary,” she chuckled as she disappeared into the night.

rebelwilson

Aaaannnd scene.

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  • http://www.kmlogan.com/ KM Logan

    Noooooooooooooooo!

    • Melanie Dale

      I know. It’s terrible. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • Kimberly Thompson

    Bloody brilliant.

    • Melanie Dale

      I thought you’d approve. :)

 

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